They say every decision has a decided result. Cause and effect if you will. Well on July 25th 2009 i decided I was going to leave the rehab I was enrolled in outside Falon Nevada and hitchhike home because "I didnt have a problem". About february that same year I decided that from then on I was going to start buying Heroin instead of Oxycontin because Oxy's were becoming harder to get and more expensive, but not because I had a "problem". Going further back, I'd say around the time i was about 22 or so I decided that weed and alcohol were getting boring and I wag going to start taking vicodin as if it was a full time sport and i was trying to get the bid for druggie MVP. and no, if you would have asked me then I would have said "I didnt have a problem".
Now to the reason I bring these things up. On the road to continued sobriety Ive heard it ALL. reasons why "You are the way you are". family status, lack of attention, peer pressure, genetics, i dont know for certain if there is a difinitive reason why I am the way I am. what I did realize is that during all the above mentioned dates and events were CHOICES that I made not considering the realistic outcomes because if at that time you would have asked me (and some of you did) "I didnt have a problem".
On July 27th 2009 I got to Reno Nevada and placed a call to my mother and eventually my sister and told them that I decided I was coming home and that i was fine because i felt "I didnt have a problem". Now, if you know your Watson history you already know how that went down.
That afternoon and into the late evening I roamed the streets of Reno trying to decide my next plan of action. I had burnt pretty much every bridge I had ever walked in California. For the record this was a very emotionally strange time for me, one of the hardest of my life. 26 years old, alone, broke, 2 backpacks and a newly found understanding that the state that I had called home for my entire life no longer kept out the welcome mat for me :/
Wasnt my fault though... nope.. not me. It was everyone else on me giving up... I was fine.. I didnt have a problem... I didnt need them.. I was good.. In fact this was exactly what I wanted.. no pressure from anyone not to use.. 24/7 party.. no rules, no obligations, no accountability. With my new found sence of freedom it was off to finding something to make me feel better.
To be clear, I want ppl to understand that I did infact know that I had a choice. I wanted to use and at the time thought that running the streets and not having to answer to anyone was the best way to do that. Now, back on with the story..
Looking back now what the city of Reno has done for its downtown homeless community isnt bad over all.. its quite croweded but there is a general sence that the community actually gives a shit. However, this being my first real week being homeless it was a culture shock to say the least. Pretty much everyone smells bad and even when they dont you can tell they shower in sinks or the shelter with generic "sentless" soap that in most cases makes you smell worse.
All of the homeless gather as I remember around 2pm to stand in line hopeing to get a bed indoors. Those went to women, the elderly and people with jobs. The remaining people were divided into outdoor plots.. 20'x20' lots much like what you would rent at a flea market were assigned to as many people as could get along together untill the plots were full and at sundown they go into lockdown untill sun up. If you didnt get a bed or plot you were told to come earlier next time... I didnt get a plot or a bed. i spent that night in an alley behind a brick building behind the homeless plots. that was the first night I had slept in 3 nights. If you can call it sleep. I did learn that night how to keep warm with no blanket sleeping on concrete, a skill that i would have to apply many times in the coming years.
The next morning I met Rook. A 34 year old lenky white supremesist Rook was the only guy in the crowd that looked like he posed any sort of real threat out of the 100 or so homeless roaming the lot. I was looking for someone who looked like they might know where to score and rook, though he obviously looked criminal, was one of the only people in the crowd that was anywhere near my age and didnt look homeless so i introduced my self. His drug of choice was Alcohol but he said he wasnt against doing anything. A Drug Dumpster if you will. He offered to buy me some food on his stamps if i could scrounge up a couple bucks for some tall cans. I obliged him and we spent the rest of the day drinking and Rook became my first homeless road dog. Rook was new to Reno too and had about a 3 day jump on my arrival and told me he was on his way to Vegas to hook back up with his girlfriend that he was seperated from in tonapah, a town about half way between reno and vegas. He asked me where I was headed and I told him the short version of my new found freedom. We decided to join forces and hitch to tonopah and get his car and cruise to LV.
The next morning with a malt liquor hang over we made our way to the interstate and hitched a ride with a trucker to tonopah. When we got to tonopah it was about 10pm and rooks headlights didnt work in his 91 for explorer so we decided to wait till morning to give his truck the once over and head out at first light.
When we woke up we started the truck and realized we had forgot 2 major details.
1. still no drugs
2. we did not have enough gas to get to las vegas
we found a casino that had a help wanted board that had an add looking for movers locally. called. Strangly enough, maybe because it was a really small town, there were people in need of help about a mile down the road and they were paying cash same day. we called, showed up to help load a truck and 3 hours later we had $200. we filled up the truck and by 1pm we were on the road.
we got to vegas about an hour before sundown without a hitch and without headlights we thougt that would be fine but we ended up taking almost 2 hours getting ahold of Becca Rooks GF. But we made it without getting pulled over and slept in Rooks truck in some appartment complex near boulder station casino on the east side of town.
Truly to this point I felt accomplished. I wasnt in reno sleeping behind some shitty homeless shelter alone. Turly i was excited to see what Vegas had to offer someone like me. I had no Idea what was in store for me but I did know I had made the CHOICE to be here and from here on out the CHOICE was mine to do as i please. What i hadnt realized was that those CHOICES would take me to hell and back in the coming 3 years. But if you would have asked me I would have told you everything would work out. After all, I didnt have a problem.
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